Exceptional Writing for Uncommon People

You bring something unique and interesting to the world.

You deserve writing services that won’t drain the color and life out of that.

Don’t you?

Framing something that is already captivating is both an art and a skilled craft—whether it’s a piece of art, a film shot, or an idea, the framer’s work captures a spark of imagination and perfectly showcases the subject’s beauty. That’s what I can do for you.

Contact me today for an estimate on rate and timeline, and let’s get this beautiful friendship started!

Let Me Tell Your Story

My services are a little different, a little offbeat, sometimes even irreverent or audacious. I’m your huckleberry if any of these are true:

  • Your readers appreciate a twisted mind and an outrageous sense of humor
  • You’re looking for a born storyteller who can craft compelling narratives that bring your message to life
  • You’re doing something new and unusual, and/or serving an alternative community or subculture, and you need a writer who gets what’s special about that.

I offer stylish copy for realistic rates with a crisp turnaround and a bright finish, much like a summery white wine.  And like that hypothetical wine, my writing also doesn’t come in a box.

You’ll never pay for recycled boilerplate or easy clichés. When I take on your project, it’s because I’m interested in you and what you do. I take the time to ask questions:  What do you need this writing to accomplish? Who’s your audience? What do they care about? I want you to be delighted with the final product, but even more importantly, I want it to fit who you are. I want your audience to immediately know your personality through my words.

The services listed below are some top examples of the work I can do for you. Don’t see what you’re looking for? Give me a shout– if I can’t provide it myself, chances are good that I can recommend a colleague who can. I also have many gifted designers, photographers, and artists in my network, so you have the option to sit back and let me bring a whole team to the table for you.

Marketing and Promotions

I was drunk when I fell in love with my specialty, marketing. Years ago, at certain nerd conventions, game producers would get a chance to plug their upcoming games to the attendees. Most producers would get up and read a few facts off of their flyers, and everyone found it deadly dull (even the producers). The first time I co-wrote a game, we wanted to do things differently, so I wrote and we performed what amounted to a live commercial. We got a standing ovation and sold out the game months in advance.

For about two years after that, I couldn’t go to a con without someone asking me to write a plug for their game. They’d always wait until the Saturday night party when I’d had enough drinks not to think it was a stupid idea to write something to be performed the next morning, and when they were drunk enough to find all my ideas as hilarious as I did.

These days, I require more notice and less alcohol to do a marketing job, but I still have that same drive to find the words, images, and concepts that will get other people as lathered up about your business as you are. Your success depends on getting the right people’s attention and showing them why they should care. When you work with me, you’re not just getting clever copy– I help you understand your audience and create promotions that drive action.

I also do graphic design, so I can offer you a package that includes print-ready layouts in addition to finished copy. Some samples of my design work are below. My promotion and marketing services include:

  • Press releases
  • Web copy
  • Staff, cast, or crew bios
  • Promotional postcards
  • Social media graphics and icons
  • Event programs and playbills
  • Fact sheets, brochures, posters, and other collateral
  • Newsletters
  • Case studies
Midsummer Night's Dream Promo Card

The postcard I designed for a production of “Midsummer” for which I did the marketing and graphic design.

Magazine Ad sample for the DC Gurly Show

A full-page program ad I designed for the DC Gurly Show, DC’s only queer burlesque troupe.

Reverse of promotional postcard for DC Gurly Show

The back of a promotional postcard I wrote and designed for the DC Gurly Show.

I can’t tell you enough how great these [articles] are!  They required so little editing on my part.

Thanks for everything—you are worth every penny!

—Kelly Brooks, Editor

Speeches and Presentations

I’m on a mission: I want to rid the world of boring, cluttered PowerPoint, one eye-catching and absolutely necessary slide at a time. Let me help you craft your next talk with structure, language, and visuals that will keep your audience not merely awake, but enthralled. What would it do for your business or career to have everyone in the room telling you that the presentation you just gave was the best one they’ve seen in months?

As an experienced public speaker and a dramatic scriptwriter, I can help you deliver your message with clear ideas and vivid, memorable phrases that sound organic, not processed and canned.

As a storyteller, I can help you organize your material and find the narrative thread running through it all, as well as helping you choose bite-size stories that bring dry facts and statistics to life.

As a designer, I can create a slide deck or Prezi that reinforces your message with colorful, bold visuals while still ensuring that the audience’s attention is where it belongs– on you. (Are you an academic? Talk to me about your next poster presentation.)

And as a performer and public speaking coach, I can even work with you in person or via Skype to help you overcome nervousness, connect with your passion, overcome bad habits, and take your audience on a journey with you.

I’m one of those rare people who not only isn’t afraid of public speaking, but actually loves it. Let me share my enthusiasm with you, whether you’re leading a training, giving a business presentation, or emceeing an event. Enjoy your time in the spotlight!

Event and Venue Reviews

There are two things I really love to do. One is to turn people on to the most interesting places, people, and events I know; the other is to discover the genius loci, the essence, of a city or town by learning its local flavor, its half-forgotten oddities, its urban legends, and its unique beauty. I can help your readers find the experiences they crave.

My writing career includes:

  • Reviews of obscure independent films for the (now sadly defunct) magazine Independent Rising
  • Descriptions of potential date locations in DC for the website crazyblinddate.com
  • Writing detailed reports of dinners at upscale restaurants for a mystery shopping service based out of Philadelphia

Stand out from the publications running stories about the same old trendy places and over-hyped events when you hire me to interview locals about their haunted bridge, to get the skinny on the annual pickle parade, or to review your city’s top 10 nicest public restrooms.