Can Fat Girls Wear High Heels? Pt. II: Learning to Walk, All Over Again

Can Fat Girls Wear High Heels? Pt. II: Learning to Walk, All Over Again

If you missed my first post about choosing high-quality high heels, feel free to catch up! When I was a feisty little proto-diva on the brink of adolescence, roller rinks were a huge part of northern New Jersey teenage social life. (Are they again? I feel like I’m seeing more of them lately, now that my childhood is being mined for retro coolness and ironic nostalgia. THANKS HIPSTERS.) I was never going to be a roller derby badass or disco queen dazzling everyone with my flashy moves, but it was imperative that I have at least some grace and style. Pretty, popular girls could get away with helplessly shrieking and giggling as they clung to the walls like Bambi trying to walk on the ice and waited for their mulleted, rat-tailed, Z Cavaricci-clad princes to chivalrously escort them around the rink while showing off their ability to skate backwards and do spins. Weirdo nerd girls with braces and glasses, like me, had to rely on having enough independent skill to glide around the rink with our friends, unaided, if we were going to a) have any fun and b) avoid being mocked and/or terrorized by those same gangly Oompa-Loompas as they cut just close enough to us to make us panic and wipe out. (This was some time ago and “adorkable” hadn’t been invented yet.) As it turned out, I had a secret weapon: a best friend whose stoner parents owned the local punk biker bar, which they tended all night, leaving it wide open for the two of us on weekend mornings as they slept. She and I would put...